The Social Hack Every Kid Should Know

I was talking with a father who’s been going through a challenging situation with his teenage daughter.

He had moved his family far away to a place that was completely foreign to them—no familiar faces for thousands of miles.

His other children found good friends almost right away and were thriving like never before. But for his daughter, it hasn’t been easy. In their old town, she had loads of cousins—built-in friends from birth. Now she had to come to grips with the fact that she’d never had to make new friends from scratch.

At church activities, camps, homeschool co-ops, and sports practices, this father analyzed his daughter’s actions, trying to discover what the issue might be, and to give her some advice. Immediately, he noticed that she was cautious about what she said, what she did, and how she looked. She was overly focused on how others perceived her and how the situation was going to work out for her—”self-centered” in the true sense of the word. Now, this is all pretty normal for a kid her age, but that’s the kind of mindset that would freeze anyone in a social situation.

In relaying this story to me, this father had a flash of inspiration, the simple solution to his daughter’s problem.

She needed a total flip of perspective: instead of hoping someone else would show interest in her,  she needed to become invested in others. Focus first on making them feel valued, and then learn how she might be valuable to them. Sincerely make an effort to make that social situation work out for somebody else.

A teen who did that would certainly be a pleasure to have around and would quickly find themselves invited into the inner circle.

To receive friendship for yourself, you have to offer your friendship. This isn’t just a simple social hack. It’s a principle applicable to almost all aspects of human interaction.

In business, those who focus more on riches—instead of providing valuable services to their customers—will soon find themselves out of business.

A husband who sets himself above his wife will never know what it’s like to be honored by her.

And politicians who attempt to perfect their constituents by legislation and taxation, only ever bring more chaos, resentment, division, and corruption to their communities.

None of these things—friendship, business, honor, community—can be taken. They can only be received, freely given by others.

Like the first Babylonians who constructed the tower, they had to learn the hard way that you can’t force your way into heaven. All attempts to take shortcuts by unjust means will fail.

And like learning to make new friends, sometimes a new perspective is all that’s needed to make a world of difference. That’s what we hope to do with our Tuttle Twins books. They offer time-tested, and principled solutions for creating a better world.

Here’s the plan: We need to get more people reading the Tuttle Twins books. We’re giving away a free magazine to give a glimpse at what we offer. Also, here’s a secret, when they request the free magazine, they’ll also get the best deal on our books that we’ve ever given.

Will you help us out and tell one friend this week about the deal? Send them to TuttleTwins.com/10years to get the free magazine mailed to them.

Thanks,
Elijah